I always seem to fall short of simplicity in overdoing everything. Growing up a perfectionist has made me want to do everything that I possibly could to be the most noticeable, the most notable, and the most purely extra human that I could be. Those of you who grasp need for control often show this in other ways, sometimes being extremely quiet, other times being extremely controlling, or maybe a little of all of this. Here to tell you it’s okay.
Although there isn’t a description for this feeling, I seem to have found a solution.
Why do we complicate everything? Why are we creating a society that overthinks more than we think out loud? Furthermore, I know all of us have sat there wondering about the ignored text, the opened snapchat, the unfollow or the lack of following back. We overthink. Why are we doing this.
In the past two weeks, I have deleted the things around me that distract me the most. First, Snapchat, an app that consumed a lot of my mindspace in my image and how I looked. Snapchat is an app that nearly everyone is familiar with, and while I miss it, I feel more confident in myself without the need for it to be at my disposal at all times. I never realized that I went to snapchat when I was feeling insecure, just to throw a stupid filter on my face and see how many people replied to me. Damn shawty, get it together.
Next was VSCO. VSCO was great until I realized more people were searching my name than I intended. I switched my name more than once, and still was getting backlash about almost everything I was posting. Younger me would’ve went off and exposed everything that was being thrown at me, but I figured out that they weren’t the problem; I was. I was posting certain parts of my life that I wanted to be seen by certain people. It wasn’t art, it was revenge, it was provoking, it was pot stirring. Now although I know I will never nottttt stir the pot, there is a line that one has to step behind to grow up a little bit. VSCO is for photography. Art. Not a text from someone’s ex that will probably hurt the person receiving the screenshot of it, not a republish competition to see who can get a dog, and to be honest since when is VSCO for high school boys that just get one to creep on their girlfriends? So, I deleted VSCO for a couple of weeks, and despite my broken silence a few days ago, I re-deleted it again. I am finally at the point of indifference when it comes to an app that I never thought I could live without.
Okay Riss, Deleting apps? Whatever. I needed something more. I sought to make a list about what makes me happy. People. The people around me. What was a plausible number of people to have around me that was manageable enough to have relationships with. I did not want to compromise my happiness, but I know at times for certain people this is worth it. In my Psychometrics course, the first question that was posed today was “How happy are you with your life?”
Consistency. The answer to this question needs to be consistent. Not a one time thing, not a one night stand, not a “yup” but a Yes. Over and over and over, a yes. I need to be able to have a bad day and come out at the end of it saying I am still happy with my life. This is important. So here I am, everyday, simplifying things. I try to sleep more. I sleep in when I can (hell yes for my class schedule though) and I do more of what I want. If I want to stay in on a Saturday, I do, and if I want to binge watch 90210 and daydream about California, I do. Sometimes, I used to go to class and find myself copying the board. But I found that writing what the teacher says helps me leaps and bounds better. Everything doesn’t need to be over thought. It doesn’t need to be over done. Take a breath.
So the pictures; @davidhaston has done it again. Along the shoot, I found a new favorite coffee shop, ran around a parking garage, and sat on the floor of a convenient store.
Man did I love it.
The simplicity of the coffee shop made things like a breath of fresh air; find one to frequent and make it your spot to unwind. Don’t even bring your phone. Bring your homework, sit down, let your eyes wander, then just exist in the space. This one was Stacks Espresso downtown. (PLEASE SEND ME PLACES YOU’D LIKE ME TO REVIEW, COMING SOON! ! ! ! ! ) The parking garage made me feel weightless. Doing one thing everyday that scares you is a key to getting rid of any bad vibes you may embody. Hanging off the side was uncomfortable as all hell but I felt something that I never would’ve felt sitting down scrolling VSCO.
Living simply. It’s not that hard. Take away the unyielding need to be accepted, stop living for other people, and do more of what you want to do. It helps. And it’s encouraging to yourself when you are able to accomplish new things. Start living more simply, and i hope you find more joy in your own company. Are you being good to your body?
Till next time… oh and go follow David on Instagram. He’s a genius. Please share this, and don’t forget my emails are always always open (email@example.com) xoxo